I know...how 1999 of me. Commenting on the populist online invitation site
which you probably use all the time but never think about. But this isn't a
post about how Evite was Web 2.0 during Web 1.0, or that the simplest form of
technology, amidst the dizzying array of tech hype that saturates the earth, is
always what we come back to. No, this post is about adding value to being
awesome.
You can't put a premium on a good evite response. Sure, like anything else
there's detractors to those who take this opportunity to showcase their
wittynessosity. You know the girl who always lists her evite response as
"insert witty comment here." She's a hater. We all know that
girl. She's also the least original person we know and is guilty of far reaching
lameness.
Guys, listen up: A good evite response can cite a virtual giggle fest, and
if you've really put time into your response, you'll know I'm right. For a
solid 3-4 years my *go to* evite response, to any party be it Super Bowl,
colleague's birthday, Tara Reid's house warming, was to go down the list of
"accepted" responses and pick a girl's name that didn't have one
of those annoying (+1)'s next to it -- obviously indicating that she would
have a boyfriend with vertical striped shirt in tow.
Next, I check the 'yes' box and in my response and type: "Stacy, I
can't believe you'll be at this party! There's no WAY I would miss
this!!!!" Now, do I know this Stacy girl? Absolutely not. And as a side
note fellas it's key to use as many exclamation points as possible in your
response. This is what girls do. If I owned the patent on exclamation
points Voce Communications would be out one high torque marketer.
What happens next seems obvious but I think a lot of us guys overlook. One
of Stacy's friends inevitably sees your response and immediately calls her. 'Do
you know Colin Crook?' -- 'No, why?' -- 'Cuz he sure knows you, check out his
response to Jared's evite.' Bam...wildfire doesn't spread this quick.
Then the girls Google your name, go through old love letters they've invariably saved, and track down former employers to try and get a sense of who Colin Crook could be. By the time the party rolls around, they've approached the organizer, in this case Jared, who's informed them that Colin is someone they indeed DON'T know and that he was just being really funny and smart. And, that despite his 5'9 stature, still has cheek bones, a nice smile and hair.
Now hopefully Stacy is hot and has multiple hot friends. If not, that's ok,
you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and wait for the next evite to
come rolling in. Which it will because evite was Web 2.0 during Web 1.0.
So, here's some Value add to all the young puppies trolling SF...there's a
reason that 50 year-old guy at the gym always makes a 15 foot jump shot. Cuz
he's been doing it for so long.
Full disclosure: the following is my current evite response, as I now have a
girlfriend. If I used what is described above, I would be meeting way too many
chicks.
"Dr. Colin Crook - wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest
of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's
deepest recesses, to the rarest peaks of
Colin, you are always welcome to my parties, I have tons of hot friends, and I will tell them you are a doctor. ;-)
Posted by: Stacy (no kidding) | May 10, 2006 at 10:54 PM
Stacy? Is that you commenting on Colin's post? Awesome!!! How are you?? Let's get together soon!!!!!!
Posted by: maringuy | May 11, 2006 at 12:43 PM
Brilliant Colin, Brilliant. I'll make note of this when checking evites in the future.
Posted by: heather | May 11, 2006 at 04:50 PM
(I'm an idiot. Fisher Price My First Blog Comment Post. Ignore the other one.) Did Tom Brady really hook up with that boob? I mean, was that pre-NFL Tom Brady? No way post-Bledsoe-Mo-Lewis-sideline-blow-up-en-route-to-winning-the-Superbowl Tom Brady is hooking up with that sorry looking boob. Cover that thing up, Tara! Oh wait, you're blotto. Does Tara have a father? And if so did he immediately drop his things and slink out out of the grocery store upon first seeing his daughters surgically UN-enhanced tit on the cover of rag-du-jour at the checkout line? Balls, that thing is awful. I mean, no way. Now I am not gay or from Boston but I will say that T-Brady is a good looking dude and he seems like a decent guy to boot. By the way, that's the first time I've ever used "to boot" in a sentence. Colin, I'm doing my part here to raise the value of your value add. But I digress. Long story short there is absolutely zero way that Tom hit that.
Posted by: Tito | May 13, 2006 at 03:47 AM
I can find the prayer I want. I thank God for this website.n
Posted by: Martin | August 29, 2008 at 01:29 PM